Rise and Shake Off the Dust

(My note: I know the helpfulness factor here will depend on where you're at in your journey, but when I read it I found it to be quite helpful. Even though it was written to women, if you look past the ‘girlie’ references, this is just as applicable to men.)

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(from Prayer Guide for the Brokenhearted by Michelle McKinney Hammond, pp. 120-122)

“Shake off the dust; rise up, sit enthroned, O Jerusalem. Free yourself from the chains on your neck, O captive Daughter of Zion.” (Isaiah 52:2)

The story is told of a mule that fell down an abandoned well. The hole was too deep to retrieve the unfortunate animal so, in an effort to put it out of its misery quickly, the farmer called all of his friends together to help him bury the mule.

As the men gathered together and began pitching dirt into the hole, the mule panicked and shook it off, then stepped up on the freshly fallen mound in an effort to free its feet. With each shovel full this process was repeated, until –lo and behold!-the mule was out of the hole and standing on solid ground!

The moral of the story? Shake it off and step up, sister! Don’t allow yourself to be buried in your pain. Shake it off. Relax, relate, and release. It can’t stick to you unless you allow it to stay. The hole might feel deep, but God will make a way out. Take it one step at a time. You will need to cooperate with the process, of course. When He extends His hands to you, grab His arm, step up into those strong hands, and allow Him to lift you to a higher place.

After you have shaken off the dust, don’t forget to bathe in His rivers of refreshing and finish your toilette with His special brand of perfume. Essence of Joy. Yes, it is true, it is a costly fragrance. Costly because it comes from specially selected petals that have been crushed to extract the oil. You have been crushed. Don’t waste a drop of what you’ve bled. Make it an expensive tribute to what you’ve endured, and let others enjoy your scent.

Though your heart has been crushed by a natural lover, you are still betrothed to a King. Rise up and take your place. Hold your head high. Stand erect and know that you are loved and desired. Free yourself! Break the chains of defeat, resignation, self-hatred, and failure from your neck.

This day you can choose for yourself blessings over curses, life over death, joy over sorrow, victory over defeat, freedom over bondage, love over rejection. Use all that you have learned. Promise yourself never to return again to the place where your garments were soiled. Place your heart in your Father’s safe-keeping, and allow him to guard your affections from this day forward.

Dear Heavenly Father, though I have felt covered by the soot of my experience, wash me and refresh me. I know that some action is required by me in order to attain freedom from my pain. Strengthen my arms to hold on to you. Strengthen my legs to come up higher. Draw me close to you.

I choose now to cast off the debris that threatened to smother my spirit. I cast down the power of rejection, abuse, hurt, anger, unforgiveness, and bitterness from my life. I declare that they will no longer reign over me. I will to lift my head above my enemies and live in triumph. I decree that no weapon the enemy has formed against me shall prosper. No longer will I be held captive by the lies of the enemy. I will embrace your truth, Lord, and cleanse myself in it. I will drink long and deep from your Spirit.

Even now I feel rivers of Living Water welling up inside of me. Spring up, O well, and cleanse my soul. Spring up, O well, and make me whole. Yes, I declare this day that I am free from all that binds me, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

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I would add to this, questions to ask yourself:

·         --What lies of the enemy have been holding you captive? (e.g. Have you been plagued by thoughts that you’re a worthless failure? That you’ll never amount to anything? Etc.) God didn’t plant those thoughts!

·        

             --So what does God’s Word (His truth) say about you?

(You can find a couple of lists to get you started here and here.)

*note – if you’re not already very familiar with these passages of scripture, you may want to change the version of the bible to “New Living Translation” or “New International Version 1984” when you click the verse links on Joyce Meyer’s page. (the bible versions are listed in alphabetical order) She uses the Amplified version, and while I enjoy using that myself when doing in depth bible studies, even after reading the bible for 24 years I tend to use it alongside another version for clarity.

Ringing In Change

I wear a Claddagh ring. I’d always wanted one and Frank gave me one for Mother’s Day, 2010. I love it - it represents my Irish heritage and it symbolizes love, loyalty, and friendship.

It can be worn two ways, and has different meanings depending on the way you wear it. If you wear it with the point of the heart facing inward, toward your heart, it means that your heart is taken or spoken for. If you wear it with the point of the heart facing outward, away from your heart, it symbolizes friendship. When he gave it to me (naturally) I put it on with the point of the heart facing inward.

Several times over the course of the first year+ after I moved out of our house into my own apartment I tried to turn it around, but I simply couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to lie to myself or anyone else. We may not have been together anymore, but my heart was still his. However, over the last few months I can honestly say that my feelings have been changing. Because of all the healing going on inside, as well as a couple of “aha!” moments, I finally felt like it was time to turn the ring around a couple of weeks ago. But as I did, it STILL didn’t feel right. At first I was baffled, but then the reason it didn’t feel right dawned on me. It’s because my heart IS spoken for - by Jesus.

He is my everything.

(I still turned it around though with the point of the heart facing outward. Until I meet someone that makes me want to turn it around again that is...)

P.S.

(I highly recommend the 3 minute, 54 second video on this page – Kyle puts things so much better than I can.)

Saying Goodbye

“Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey Goodbye” 

I’m feeling a bit depressed today - kind of a delayed reaction. This has been a week for goodbyes, it seems.

After just over 14 months, I was expecting to say goodbye to my Divorce Care (support) group next Tuesday night, but I was there early this week to get set up for dinner and took a few minutes to go into the sanctuary to pray. (I love going in there by myself - it’s the most peaceful place…) Anyway, I heard God tell me, “it’s time – tonight.” I felt Him impress on me that whatever future plans were made for the group, I wasn’t to be part of them. I admit I was a little surprised, but was also at peace with it. I trust Him and know that somehow it’s all going to work out to be in my best interest. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

Judy, our group leader, has referred to Divorce Care as “the emergency room.”  I know my healing isn’t 100% complete yet, but I’ve definitely healed to the point where I don’t belong in the emergency room anymore. For a long time I thought I’d just stay indefinitely to be another source of support for others in the group, but it seems as though God has other plans for me (He hasn’t clued me in on what they are yet though).

Anyway, sitting there listening to Judy talk about what was coming up I really wanted to put it off.  “What could another week or two hurt?” But I know better than to disobey God. He has a reason for everything He asks of us, so it all boils down to trust. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6 – I know I quote this a lot, but it’s one of my favorite verses). So it’s a definite no-brainer for me. I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, “It’s my way or the highway.” Well changing that to, “It’s God’s way all the way,” would be more in line with the way I think.

Bruce, our former co-leader, used to say that our group isn’t a club that anyone would want to join, but if we had to go through something like this, we were glad we could go through it together. (Then I started saying it!) They have become like family to me. I don’t think I can adequately express how much they’ve helped me and how much I’m going to miss seeing them every Tuesday night. While I know that God has great things in store for me and I can’t start a new chapter without closing the current one, the group has been such a HUGE part of my life for the past 14 months that not seeing these people every week is going to be a BIG adjustment. Even though I know I'll definitely see some of them again, I feel like I’m grieving a little bit – I miss everyone already.

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Then yesterday my family said goodbye to the wonderful man my Aunt Janet has been happily married to for the past twelve years. His death late Sunday night was unexpected.

Honest to God, their relationship was straight out of a fairy tale. In the 44 years I’ve known her, I cannot ever remember seeing my aunt as happy as she was for the last dozen – I seriously doubt her feet hit the ground once. They absolutely adored each other and it’s not an exaggeration to say that they both positively glowed with happiness for their entire marriage.

David was one of those people who, when you were talking with him, would make you feel special just by virtue of the thoughtful way he listened to you. I wish I’d taken the opportunity to tell him that.

Every time my aunt or my cousin, Dawn, would glance over at the casket, realizing anew each time that they have to live the rest of their lives without him, they’d start crying again. Losing a family member is always sad, but my heart is absolutely aching for them, my cousin Brian, and for David’s son, Jonathan. I just want to do something to take away their pain, but there's nothing I can do except love them, pray for them, and just be here if they need me. 

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So yeah… definitely feeling depressed today (I’m the queen of delayed reactions). After dinner I think I’ll just go read and pray myself to sleep. Then I only have one more day to work and I don’t have to go back till the 22^nd. I still love, love, love my job, but I am in desperate need of some quality “me time.” I just find it interesting that the week I chose to take off falls at a time of change. Coincidence? I’d say yes if I believed in coincidences. Personally I think it was more of a God-cidence.