Of Socks and Men

“A man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.” –Jean Kerr

Frank and I both take vitamins every day. It’s easier for us to remember to take them when we put them in those pill containers with the days of the week marked on top of each compartment, and put the containers somewhere in the vicinity of the coffeemaker where we’ll see them every morning. I’ve been filling both mine and Frank’s ever since we started taking them, but yesterday he filled his own. I was standing there in the kitchen talking with him before he left for work, so I watched him do it and it made me feel a little sad. It just reminded me that it’s one of many little wifely things I’ve been doing for him that he’ll soon be doing for himself.

So as not to give in to the melancholy that was sitting on the edge of my awareness threatening to move in and ruin my day, I joked with him about it. I said (in mock awe of his accomplishment), “Wow. So I guess you’re not helpless after all, huh? That’s great! You’ll still be able to take your vitamins after I move out.”

He chuckled and said ah no, he wasn’t helpless, that he was perfectly capable of opening tiny plastic compartments, inserting a pill in each one, and closing the aforementioned compartments.

Then he went on to say something I found quite interesting that I thought might be useful information to pass on to any women out there who may be reading this. (If you haven’t felt inclined to share this blog with your friends, at least copy them on this entry – we really need to spread the word, ladies!)

He said (and I quote), “Guys feign helplessness.”

“Oh, really?” I said.  (Like it was a big surprise or something)

“Yeah,” he went on. “When a guy says, ‘honey, I don’t know where my socks are!’ he’s full of it.” He leveled a serious look at me. “We know where our socks are.”

Ha! So there you have it, girls, right out of the horse’s mouth. Men aren’t anywhere near as helpless as they make themselves out to be. I’m sure each fella’s reasons are different though. Some may know (or think they know) that their woman needs to feel needed, some may like the feeling of being taken care of, while the rest are probably just out-and-out lazy.

However, regardless of their reasons, I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s good information to have. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to entertain myself by hiding Frank’s socks. (“Oh come on now. Didn’t you tell me just yesterday that you know where your socks are?”)

I said I’m not being spiteful. I never said I wouldn’t have a little fun.